Road to 40 Lesson 4: Listen
January 2017 I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism and deep vein thrombosis where I had multiple clots on both lungs and one in my leg. It was confusing because I didn’t live a sedentary lifestyle, but rather I ate healthy and was always in the gym. However, it was discovered later that I had a blood clotting issue (that has since healed). Anyway, about three weeks passed and I was on medical leave. With the time away from work and forced to remain at home, no matter how much I prayed and did my best to trust God, I was discouraged, frustrated, and depressed particularly because I did my best to remain healthy and physically fit yet I still ended up sick.
During one of my lowest moments, a loved one called to check on me and asked how I was doing. So - in the spirit of transparency - I could not help but express my true feelings and because this was someone I respected greatly I thought that I could confide in them. However, after I shared my thoughts with the person in terms of the frustration and depression, they berated me for feeling down. They went on to use churchy cliches in that I had not “surrendered” to God and that I needed to seek forgiveness for feeling how I did.
When that person and I finished talking, I walked away hurt, confused, guilty, and, frankly, far worse than I did before. But then God spoke clearly to me and said, “Daughter, do not feel guilt or shame. I know what you are going through, and it is okay. Even when no one else listens, I always do.” This shifted my focus, comforted my heart, and dried my tears. I sought solace and a listening ear in someone I trusted when God was actually with me all along. He was more than enough.
There are times, my friends, when people need you to just be with them in the moment - to simply LISTEN. This is not to say that there won’t be times when we need to intervene on behalf of our friends and family members and provide further assistance such as therapy resources, medical attention, etc, but the point is we need to use wisdom and discernment in knowing the time when to simply listen. Effective listening is key to hearing what God has to say but it is also necessary in empathizing and in understanding what others are going through.
James 1:19 in the Holy Bible says, “Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” You see, when we listen to others without the intention of giving unsolicited advice or being anxious to spit out what we need to say, we show the person in the tough time that we care genuinely for them even if we don't say a word. Use caution to not condemn someone who is discouraged but rather our presence alone can be what is needed in that moment of hardships. Be a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on for someone, because you never know when you will need someone to listen to you as well. Set aside your expectations or judgments. Just hush up and simply listen.
Think About It
Reflect on a situation where someone did not listen to you when you needed it:
How did you feel afterwards?
Why do you think it is important for people to be “quick to listen” and “slow to speak”?
If you want to learn more about uncovering the blocks which hold you back and launch you toward fulfilling your wellness goals, email me at coach@aletheafelton.com or check out https://aletheafelton.com for more information, and download my free ebook, “10 Steps to Getting Unstuck and Reaching Your Dreams without Feeling Overwhelmed”.